LIFE WITH MISTRESS INFINITY I will touch on a few of the more important areas in this essay. If you plan to attempt to become My slave, read and learn what I teach. Not all Mistresses have the same guidelines, but these are some that work for Me. Discretion: A Mistress deserves and expects slaves to practice discretion. This is part of building trust. An ethical Mustress will not violate discretion as well. This means that the slave does not just stop in for a visit without first calling, or when writing postally, does not put words like Mistress or slave on the outside of the envelope. Nor should personal business be stated on a post card for all the world to see. If the slave values the Mistress, he also wants to make her life easier. Discretion is one of those ways. Mistress's have vanilla lives as well (relatives and whatever) that can be affected by such carelessness. Take careful note of how a Mistress wants to be contacted and follow her instructions. This will go a long way in making a good first impression. Never assume she is just waiting by the phone for your call. When you reach her, be polite and submissive. Remember, you are trying to sell yourself as a submissive and you want her to be pleased. Pleasing the Mistress is your number one priority. If it isn't, you are not really submissive. Respect and Trust: Respect, trust and proper attitude are very important to me in the Mistress/slave relationship. When a male (or any of my female slaves for that matter) kisses my foot in respect, I know I have done something right in his training. It isn't all one way, when a slave has earned my respect and trust he/she gets it. However, that doesn't mean I am weak or ineffectual in handling them. This is a very real lifestyle for me, moreso than most. Those who serve me are very committed to this lifestyle as well. That is not to say I don't see/train those who are unable to commit at that level, however my 24/7's are. I am a great believer in the beauty and mystery of femdom protocol. Kissing my foot upon arrival in my presence and departure is just part of the expectations. Anything I drink is served by a slave on their knees, who kisses the cup/glass, and, head bowed, offers the drink and themselves to me. This is very beautiful, touching, I am a very sentimental womyn. My slaves do these beautiful tokens of respect because they adore me, not because they are forced. It comes from the heart or it doesn't come at all. There are various levels of slavery in my domain, priviledges earned, so to speak. One of these is being allowed to sleep in my bedroom at the foot of the bed at night. Not every slave earns it, and not every night is there a slave chained to the foot of the bed. Very few ever sleep in my bed. They may spend a little time there serving my needs, but to actually sleep the night with me is another matter. The other end of the spectrum is sleeping in the training room or cellar. This is done for training purposes or correction. My slaves long to be near me as much as I allow, so this is actually a hardship for them. If they earn my presence they get it. Once trained, unless She releases him, the slave owes loyalty to his Mistress. To serve others without Her permisison is cause for banishment. This is not to say that She can't loan him out. Also he must show respect to other womyn, but to serve them is up to his Mistress, not him. It is also Her call to measure his training progress. Orgasm Control: It has been my experience that a male submissive tends to lose that submissive edge right after orgasm. It can last a few minutes or weeks, depending on the degree of involvement. Now in a 24/7 lifestyle where this form of power exchange is always in effect, that can be detrimental. So I tend to practice orgasm denial, deprivation and control on my lifestyle (personals) submissives. Interestingly enough, I have found the opposite to be true on female lifestyle submissives. Thus, in the training of male slaves, I believe in strict orgasm control. There are rules established and slaves are not allowed to masturbate without my permission. When serving in person, they must kneel at my feet for this rare pleasure. Also, any slave under my training must also ask for permission to orgasm when allowed to masturbate in my presence. Chastity devices are another obvious option, such as the Kali's Teeth Bracelet (KTB) or some other instrument. I often instruct My male slaves in the construction of the KTB. Slave Feeding: In the strict training I do with a new slave, slave feeding is very structured, strict and ritualistic. Slave food will normally be nutritious but unappetizing. Such as cold cream corn mixed with cold oatmeal. On slave food day, it is served in a bowl on the floor. The slave kneeling nude or in slave clothes, hands behind the back, must eat the food within a specified time limit. Then water from a bowl, or toilet bowl (if clean enough). The Slave Collar: In my experience, and in my view of the D/s relationship, the collar holds a very special place. For my part time subs, it is the first thing that goes on when they see me and the last thing that comes off when they leave. My 24/7 's (I have one female at the moment) wear a collar, or symbol of it, at all times and in all places. It started with a locked on choker chain. She now wears a sterling silver jewelry chain, but it means the same thing. It is a stronger symbol to us than a wedding ring. It represents all that we feel and are as Mistress and slave. We believe that an uncollared slave is an unhappy, or unloved, slave. My slaves serve me through love, not fear, even tho I can be very strict and uncompromising at times. A collaring, in my domain, is not done lightly. Before collaring, a sub is a slave-in-training, working to earn that beloved symbol in a formalized ritual of ownership. We also do vows of servitude, naming and marks of ownership (tattoos, piercing, etc.). None of these are done lightly, and none of them are done without the ritual elements. The soul craves meaning and symbols/rituals do just that. The D/s lifestyle is rich with beauty and meaning, to take any of this lightly leaves it devoid of those elements we truly crave. A sub under my training has many chances to voluntarily back off, or even out, they truly go the distance before such heavy, but beautiful, life passages are accomplished. Transgression Books: I require a transgression book. The slave must purchase a blank book, pretty ones are found in book stores. Each entry is a rule broken or crime committed. No excuses, just the bare facts and the date of the transgression. Sometimes the slave will know and do it on their own, other times I need to point out that what transpired was a "book offesne". They tend to build quickly in the beginning. I am pickier, and the slave does not yet know the rules. Every so often the slave is required to submit the book to me for a "book balancing". This is very ritualistic, candles, mood, proper dress. The slave kneels head down when offering the book. I take it read it, comment on anything left out, and then begin the psychological portion of the correction. I am told this is much worse than the physical. Of course, the physical is tailored to fit the crime as well as the slave. Domestic Service: The primary difference between a house slave and a maid servant is that the house slave is a male wearing uniform (butler or slave) or nude; while the maid servant is a male wearing a maid uniform. Other than that, the following duties apply to both. The female slave in the household is the"senior slave" and she must be deferred to and consulted if questions arise. The permanent slave will be required to have outside employment to contribute to room and board unless he has a source of income and can remain in the home. These duties are in effect at all times he is not at work. The slave will be informed if any house guests are to be treated with "vanilla" servitude, clothed and courteous. Duties: 1. you will be taught to care for and wear the proper uniform: a. maid servant a1. day uniform - gray or black standard uniform, white cuffs, collar, cap, and apron, small heeled black pumps. a2. formal uniform - French Maid, full flounce, white accessories, black heels. b. house slave b1. nude or panties b2. butler uniform with white gloves b3. sweats c. punishment uniform for any slave consists of rags 2. you will be taught the proper house routine, including, but not limited to: a. morning duties (after slave hygeine) b. breakfast preparation, serving and clean up (and slave meal) c. household procedures (daily/weekly tasks) d. ongoing attendance to Mistress's needs e. lunch preparation, serving and clean up (and slave meal) f. continue morning (now afternoon) duties g. special task, class or training or recreation break h. dinner preparation, serving and clean up (and slave meal) i. evening duties j. slave hygeine k. check in and bedding down 3. you will report to the Mistress or senior (female) slave for training and/or correction whenever summoned. 4. you will keep a "transgression book" subject to review at any time. 5. you will observe the specifics of your slave vows at all times. 6. you will accompany Mistress on errands as needed. 7. you will work alongside other slaves as needed. 8. you will practice all aspects of courtesy at all times. 9. you will learn the slave positions and use them appropriately at all times. 10. you will learn to serve drinks to the Mistress properly. BDSM play activity will be scheduled as the Mistress desires. Only slaves in good standing will be allowed to participate. Participation is a reward and for the amusement of the Mistress. Slaves not in good standing will be required to attend correction at the hand of the senior slave or the Mistress. Transgression books will be "balanced" only by the Mistress. Real Life Submission: So many times you see personal ads or letters from would-be submissives that give a brief description of themselves and then a long litany of all the things they want a Mistress to do to/for them. Is this submission? It takes no real submission to submit to what you like and ignore the rest. What does the word submission really mean? In the life of a 24/7 submissive serving a RL Mistress submission is: being submissive even when you don't feel submissive worrying about the Mistress's needs listening when She needs someone to talk to about anything offering advice/opinions when asked without really expecting Her to follow being there when things go right being there when things go wrong no complaints doing things to please Her that you don't particularly like answering "if it pleases You, Mistress" when you would rather say no trying to make your submission as pure as possible getting along with Her other slaves making Her environment as comfortable as possible saving Her time running Her errands fetching something for Her when you are busy with something else kneeling to serve Her a drink trying never to say no to Her accepting Her moods without taking it personal deferring decisions to Her hoping She never tires of you These and much more are what real submission is about.