Ms.C.'s Panty Sissy by sissy michelle my Mistress called me to Her last night while i was finishing up the dishes from Her evening meal. She told me that tonight would be "Panty Worship Night". As i knelt before Her with my face on the floor, She reached under Her skirt, removed Her panties and placed them on the back of my head. "Now go and worship Me, slave", She commanded and walked out of the room. i went and got my "alcove of respect" supplies and went to the corner of the kitchen floor where i sleep. i spread out my white silk alter cloth on the floor and lit my candles. i removed all of my clothing before i knelt in front of my alter and said 30 "Hail Goddesses" to start my ritual. i put the crotch of Her panties to my nose and inhaled deeply, smelling the scent that came from the place i will never see, from the Goddess that i worship above all else. "Behold! my Goddess has anointed me with Her favor! She has proclaimed me to be Her servant! i am truly blessed!", i shouted. i put the crotch of Her panties in my mouth and sucked at the juices. "Oh, Mistress, i beg you to allow me to serve as Your slave! my mind, body and soul are Yours to do with as You please. Please allow me to prove myself worthy of serving You", i screamed. As the ritual goes, i started slowly masturbating. i put the crotch back up to my nose and inhaled deeply again. "Dear Goddess, i'm not worthy to eat Your crumbs off the floor at your feet, yet you grace me with your intoxicating scent!", i recited as i continued to masturbate. my desire for my Mistress was starting to reach a fever pitch. This is as close to sex as i'm aloud to get. i returned the panties to my mouth, i could taste my Mistress and it was driving me crazy. i sucked and sucked at Her panties, feeling close to Her and grateful for this special surprise gift. i was in ecstasy. i could feel myself getting closer to orgasm. "Blessed am i who serves the Goddess! i give thanks, My Mistress. Thou hast taken thy great power and hast reigned over this humble slave!" i kept stroking my penis. i was afraid it would end too soon and i don't get this chance often. my penis felt like it would explode. i tried to concentrate on the scent and taste of my Mistress. i can imagine what a great honor it would be to be with Her. Just imagining such an impossibility coming true almost made me orgasm. "i am your humble servant, faithful and true to You! i take heed of the teachings of my Goddess, that i might fulfill them!" i was getting very close to orgasm. i was stroking my penis faster and faster. It was time for me to stop. i new the disrespect of having an orgasm during a religious experience. i put the panties over my head with the crotch over my nose and mouth. i blew out the candle and stood up. my penis was still throbbing and sticking straight out. i squeezed my testicles out of my scrotum and up into my body, pulled my penis back between my legs and put on my own panties. i was still feeling quite shaken from my experience. i was a bit weavey walking through the kitchen to put away my alter pieces. i put my dress back on. i had to sit on the floor to put my high heels back on, i was afraid i'd fall down if i didn't. my love for my Mistress was all-consuming. i couldn't think of anything but Her. It took me a few minutes to compose myself and remember what i had been doing before this special treat started. With the panties still over my head, i returned to the sink to finish up my housework. i had learned my panty ritual as part of my studies in the Panty Institute, which my Mistress has founded. i first found Ms.C. through reading Her stories on a BBS. Then i saw "the ad": The scent of a woman, seductive panty training is the next best thing to being there! I use a variety of panty techniques from soft and sweet to bizarre rituals of utter humiliation. As a panty Goddess, I also explore related fetishes with sincere, docile males. Ask Me about the Panty Institute. Postal, telephone, in person. SASE. Write today. Since i have always been a sissy in panties, it sounded perfect. Being a slave to Ms. C is both fulfilling and frustrating. It is easy yet it takes a lot of work. The responsibilities are simple to accomplish, yet the schedule is complex. These seeming contradictions are what make servitude intoxicating. my responsibilities are simple. i am to do anything and everything that i am told to do. The workload, however, takes up all my free time. when i'm not at work or doing my household duties, i'm involved in my studies. Being a slave is a 24 hour job. Even my dreams frequently are about my servitude. It takes this kind of dedication for me to progress in my submission. I am not fully trained as a proper slave yet. It has become my reason for being. Every day i spend in my training is another days proof of my unworthiness and it disturbs me. my Mistress, in Her superior wisdom, isn't as disturbed as i am. She encourages me by telling me how happy She is with my progress. i can tell that i've progressed from where i was when i started my training, but my small amount of progress has shown me how far i have to go. Luckily, i can feel confident that i will be given every opportunity to become the submissive that my Mistress requires. She has a lot of experience training slaves. my inadequacy is only a portion of my feeling of frustration. There is the sexual frustration too. As a servant, i will never be aloud sexual fulfillment because i have no right to achieve it. my body no longer belongs to me. i am the property of my Mistress and She requires Her male properties to remain sexually frustrated. This is a requirement that i will live with for the rest of my life. i'm not aloud to have an erection without Her permission. my penis is shriveled into a shadow of it's former self. This is a source of pride for me, though. Not everyone would have the dedication to allow such a thing to happen. There is also a fulfilling filling that comes with being a slave. Whenever my Mistress tell me that i have pleased Her, it really makes my week. i live for Her approval. Nothing pleases me more then for Her to give me a small sign of approval. i live for those moments. Also, i have found acceptance in the Femina Society. i am a trans-sexual and am not excepted in society. Average people consider me to be a pariah, an outcast. The Femina Society welcomes me for what i am, a slave. i feel an intense loyalty to my Mistress. She is a benevolent owner. i don't always understand why She asks me to do some things, but i'm confident they are for my own good. The proof of this is evidenced by the progress i've made in Her care. i look back at my old life now and can't imagine how i could have lived like that. i was so incredibly selfish. It seems as if the only thing i cared about was myself. i spent all my time pursuing personal happiness. It seems much more fulfilling to pursue the happiness of my Mistress. i have learned many things, but most of all, i have learned obedience. Obedience is the submission to the control of the Mistress. It is the natural state for a servant. A servant is not allowed to have a will, the Mistress' will is the servant's will. A servant is still allowed to have feelings but they are irrelevant. The servant simply must obey the will of the Mistress. Her wishes are to be carried out without hesitation or complaint. A servant will be required to do a large variety of tasks, some enjoyable, some less then enjoyable. Both must be accomplished with equal speed and enthusiasm. Doing just enough to get by is inacceptable. Each task must be done thoroughly and to completion. Obedience means being amenable. It means being able to be molded by the Mistress into the servant She requires. Being receptive to Her manipulations of the servant's psyche. The servant must become a new being for the Mistress. Totally different then the person the servant was before. The Mistress will create an entirely new being from what the servant previously was. An obedient servant is one who is easily remade with a minimum of effort on the Mistress' part. Obedience is striving to go beyond what the servant is capable of to please the Mistress. Obedience the recognition that the best effort of the servant is inadequate to accomplish all that the Mistress truly deserves. Total obedience is a life long pursuit that can never be fully attained. And now, i would like to renew my vows to my beautiful Mistress, the incomparable Ms.C.: "i, your humble and willing servant, pledge my unquestioning obedience to Your superior wisdom. You have erased any doubt that i might have had that my previous life was a folly. i am convinced that without Your teachings, i will never be able to improve myself. i could change, but i would never obtain the knowledge that You are teaching me. i am convinced that Your idea of what i should be is correct. Without You, i would always be less then i could be. i promise never to question Your orders and carry them out promptly, to the best of my ability. my short history of being your servant has proven to me that this is my wisest possible course of action. i will always be in Your debt for the changes You have made in me. i can never repay You for making me Your servant. (Just looking back to a few short months ago, it's shocking to me that i could truly feel this way. In fact, i can't get over how much You have fundamentally changed me in such a short time). my idea of being a submissive was completely different then what Yours is. i expected that it would mean that sex would be the central theme of our relationship. Silly me! Self-improvement was the farthest thing from my mind. i still don't know exactly what You have in store for me, but if the first few months are any indication, it excites me intellectually to think of what i might attain in the future. Becoming Your servant has been the smartest thing i've done. i can't imagine not obeying You when You have proven Yourself to be so much wiser then me. i've never considered myself to be stupid, but intelligence and wisdom are far from the same thing. i'm constantly amazed by Your wisdom. i would be a fool to not obey You. At least i have enough intelligence to realize that being Your servant is in my best interest." i hope to serve Ms.C. all the days of my life.